I pledge allegiance to the stirng of the United Mesh of Mittens ....

So a friend of mine, who shall be named Captain Abolfashion (CA for short) has started a faux organization in his home town in the pursuit of ridding the world of silly fashion. He has posted a number of fliers around his campus and has set up a hotmail account for those willing to attest and support his cause. While being in full support of his cause, I feel (as I do with politics) that this country requires it's own measures to rid the world of Justin and Brittany look-a-likes.


Here was my response....


I pledge allegiance to the string of the United Mesh of Mittens …

Up here, in the north, people are generally more modest. This is a requirement for survival. However, this does not stop masses of people from adorning the latest pair of aviators under their toques or wearing visors muchly askew. Mini skirts are popular in summer, but generally die off by the autumn months. This is not to say that you don’t find the occasional Twinkie wandering down Whyte Ave. at 2 am on a Saturday in December with stiletto heels and a pleated miniskirt on. Take solace in the thought that here Darwin’s theory of natural selection becomes practice. When it is minus 35 without wind-chill and one is stumbling home in 4 feet of snow … unless (s) he dresses appropriately … yes, you will die. This is a bulletin that I thought all Northerners received upon arrival, but apparently some people have taken it off the fridge or forgot to read it in the first place. So, please, send the cause North. Our survival as a society relies on it. God knows, there are no line ups waiting to repopulate the frigid parts of NORTH America. We need to save those we have!

~ Canadian Coalition for the Preservation of Toques and Mittens
(CCPTM)
Accepting new membership




Any Thoughts?

**Over and out**
~V