Quote of the day

"You can't fall in love with someone's problems"
~Sheldon P.
Dec. 16, 2004

Quote of the day

"i don't love you in spite of your mistakes; i love you because of your mistakes."
~Marsha A.
If only we were all that forgiving ;)
~V

The Best Year I Ever Had At School Was The Year I Decided To Drop Out (Part 2)

(This is a fictional account of things that never happened to no one)

I sat on my couch and looked out the window. The snow was falling and people were walking by, bundled in their seasonal outfits, dark colours and rosey cheeks. I was alone and the t.v. was drowned by the sound of traffic; people moving from one place or another, heading home, to work, out for drinks, the sounds muffled everything and filled the streets. I really was alone with my thoughts. Nothing external could break through the four walls of existence that I had created for myself. I needed to change something... Anything.
So that was it. The end of my affair with day-time t.v. I decided I needed to re-integrate myself back into the world of the non-plastic.

Chapter 2: Re-integration Into The Arms Of Alcoholism

I found myself trying to reconnect with those I had abandoned for the friend-like simulations on t.v. This is when I discovered another passion; the sweat, the lights, the booze of the little pub down the street drew me in with the thumping base and kept me there with the regulars. I quickly made myself a regular; I got to know all of the staff and found myself a regular table. My attendance was about one night a week regularly, usually on a Wednesday or a Thursday when only those who really wanted to be there would show. My regularity increased in both frequencies and veracity as I found my niche. Now, it is not that I had never been in the spotlight. Years of stage and film training had brought me to a point where appearances in front of other people were second nature, however,there was something about the microphone and the melodic comfort of other people's words and chords that gripped me. Karaoke ... Strange that it is defined in the OED as "a form of entertainment, originating in Japan, in which a person sings the vocal line of a popular song to the accompaniment of a pre-recorded backing tape," but for those who know it consider it a lifestyle. The booze was never a reason for participation nor did it ever play a factor in staying. "Liquid courage" was never a term that I used or believed in, but rather it was a tool of the trade. One would gather empty glasses and a tab while enjoying the talent of a select few and the audacity of others. People take ownership of lyrics that reflect worlds foreign to them but happen to fall within their range. Possession of songs is a trademark of the karaoke life. As the days drifted by... The months ... The nights drowned in pints and highballs ... Colored lights and laughter; I found comfort in the acknowledgement of others. I didn't even realize what had happened. It took a moment of epiphany for me to realize that I had traded a life of artifice for an equally superficial existence. I was stuck between a rut and ... Another rut ... I needed to find a new device of freedom.